Interview with Diane McDonnell

11/23/2020

Interviewer: What’s been hard about the pandemic for you?

Diane: No choir in church, which bothers me. I have a hard time looking at the service at St. Mary's without getting teary. I miss my church. I really do. So that's why every Sunday I go to church at the National Cathedral in Washington. I love the music. The music is just wonderful and music is a lot of what church is for me. Also, not being able to attend my exercise classes. Prior to the pandemic, I took three aqua exercise classes at Montage. My essential tremors keep me from doing pretty much everything requiring me to stand up. The water is great because it buoys me and my legs can do pretty much everything they could do before I got my tremors. And I can exercise hard there. I also worked out in the gym and lifted weights. I was at the gym anywhere from three to five days a week, and now nothing.

My husband and I are both in our 70s. So we're not planning to go anywhere [this year]. But as soon as cases go down, I am [going to get] on a plane and I am going to head for that little granddaughter of ours. She's the cutest darn thing. About two and a half, three weeks after she was born in February (2020), we flew out to Michigan and I got a chance to cuddle our first grandchild.  It was a profoundly moving experience. When we came back, we flew through Phoenix where our oldest daughter and her husband live. We had a whole day, so we went to a spring training baseball game. It was the only baseball game, it turns out, that we've been able to see all year. I'm really glad we did it because we're big baseball fans. As soon as we got back, people were starting to talk about this virus. Bob and I decided we ought to just stay put, the two of us, and then Governor Newsom locked everybody down a few days later.

How has the pandemic affected your day to day life, would you say?

Not much other than no choir, which is big and no exercise, which is also a biggie, but also no lunches with my girlfriends, which I do regularly, especially a couple of friends that I worked with at the aquarium to keep in touch. The face to face, person to person, sort of contact [is missing]. And there's so many people at the aquarium that I [knew because I] was there for twenty-four years. [Regarding] the pandemic, other than those things, I mean, Bob and I are retired. Before the pandemic we spent [about] 80 percent of our time at home. But now [we can do] regular shopping. The salon has opened so I can finally get my nails done. I'm getting my hair done tomorrow. I do go to some doctor's appointments, those that have to be hands on. And the other ones I do virtually. I occasionally get a little cabin fever, and since I need to run my car, that's a good opportunity to get in the car and just drive around [the peninsula . . .] just for the change of scenery. I tend to be a bit of a hermit. I would be a really good monk because I am perfectly able to keep myself occupied for long periods of time. But my husband is just the opposite. He's got to be doing stuff and he's building this, fixing that. So he completely redid the front of the house, the outside, the garden. [ . . .] Now he's got this big lighting project going on.

For some people or for a lot of people, there's been a kind of pattern to the pandemic or kind of a change. Has that happened for you?

Well, it seems to me that at the beginning of the pandemic, it was like darkness, darkness in the senses, quite literally. The only time we went out was to go shopping. We would go out at 6:00 in the morning because we were terrified that if you went out in any other time [it wouldn’t be safe]. So it seemed like every time I went out, it was dark. And then things started changing. First of all, the places where I would go, which is pretty much Costco or Lucky’s or whatever, the stores started putting together senior hours. And so we could do that and the darkness started to fade. And more people started wearing masks and we started learning more about surface germs. I was never really the one that was going to absolutely disinfect everything. But I do keep a little squirt bottle of 90 proof isopropyl alcohol just in case and hand sanitizer. And I always wear a mask. So does my husband. I still take precautions. But it's almost like we went from darkness to light or at least more light. And I feel better about going out and doing things.

I talk to our next door neighbor when he's in his yard, working in his yard, right across the street. We’ll keep a lot of distance. Even my sister will stand at one end of my driveway. I've been very cautious, but things have loosened up a little. There are things that we can't do that kind of break my heart, [like I] can't visit my granddaughter. But I know that by not doing stuff, I'll stay alive. I don't intend to keel over any time soon.

How do you think the future will be? Is it going to be just like the way things were before? Do you think the pandemic is going to change us permanently? Do you have any thoughts on that?

Oh, I think the pandemic's going to change us permanently. I think of, before 9/11, we really didn't think about terrorism. Now we do and airline travel is changed forever. The pandemic is going to change our society. No longer will we snicker when we see pictures of people in Beijing or Tokyo wearing face masks because Americans are going to start wearing face masks on and off on the street. No one's going to think twice about it. We are going to be a lot more concerned about things like pandemics and public health.

As far as St. Mary's, I think maybe in the short run [there will be changes], but in the long run, I don't think there's going to be major, huge changes. I think we will get a choir. Music will come back. We will all be there in our own favorite pews on Sunday. I will look out and see the same faces in the same seats on Sunday. I think schools will change, certainly. But I think that collectively as a society, we will be much more aware and then perhaps these things will just become part of society and our kids won’t think [about it], like we don't really think too much about our parents having gone through the Great Depression. It was profound for them and changed society for them. But now those changes are just part of the way we are. And this pandemic was a big deal for us, but we got through it.

Update: It’s been 4 years since this interview and my life has changed. We have another granddaughter! She’s as cute as her sister and we were lucky that they were able to visit us here in Monterey this past December. 

The exercise pool stayed closed for two years and when they reopened it was too late for me.  My tremors became far worse that they were at the beginning of the lockdown and getting around is very difficult now.

Something happened to my voice and I can’t sing any longer.  I keep trying to practice on my favorite hymns but the noise coming out of me is pretty awful! I keep trying and perhaps it will come back and I can sing again.